Friday, June 27, 2008

Testing Again!

I am having very sore nipples and a lot of ligament stretching. Every time I stand up I feel a pull down on my left or right side. Most of the time it is on my left side but with Sarah it was mostly on my right. I am wondering if that means this baby is on the left side of my uterus since Sarah was on my right side. I keep thinking that every time I get a little tired or not feeling good… “OH is this morning sickness!” I get excited that maybe I am going to have a real prego symptom but every time it passes in just a few minutes. With my first pregnancy, I only had ligament stretching, sore nipples, and a fast growing tummy. I know most women do not understand this but I am so hoping for more symptoms to make me feel more prego.

With the lack of symptoms, I feel the need to test again today. It am so comforting to see that “PREGNANCY” on that test again. This is the first month I ever used digital test and I really like them, expect you have to have more prego hormones to get a positive.

Friday, June 20, 2008

Telling Hubby

After I finally stop cry, I try to think of a way to tell hubby. Last time he got a baby rattle wrapped for him but I wanted to do it differently this time. Hubby had just gotten me a new camera for our anniversary so I take a pic of a teddy bear holding the BFP and then one of a close up of the BFP.

Hubby comes home a little talkative about the new TV we are getting soon. I am so excited, I find it hard to let him talk and to wait. Once he finishes, I ask him to look at the pics I took on the camera today. He looks at the one of the teddy bear and just nods, and then he looks at the second pic and just stares at it. After a while, he asks, “Are you really?” All I did was nod. He stares for a little long and then tells me he feels sick. I am now worried, he was not really ready but seeming to know that I was worrying he turned and told me he is excited. He explains that we had been trying for so long he did not expect the positive this month. As the night goes on, hubby sits in shock most of the time and does not let bring up me being prego again but agrees to start doing the kitty litter. (Such a good man.)

BFP (Big Fat Positive)

Sitting at home alone, I am thinking about my dear angel Sarah and about wanting to give her a baby brother or sister so badly. I stand up and feel what I know from my first pregnancy is a ligament stretching cramp. I go to the bathroom to get my pregnancy test kit and read over the directions for the hundredth time. I am planning on testing in the morning, so I want to be ready. As I read the directions, I realize I am at 13 dpo (days past ovulation) and the box says it is only 4% more accurate if I want until the next morning. I know I am not using FMU (first morning urine) and that might make the test more off but I have five tests so I test.

I sit on the toilet, just lost in thought. I see the working hour glass blinking and let my mind wonder to my Sarah as it does most of the time. I look down at the test sitting on the edge of the shower and start to cry. It says, "PREGNANT," all in caps and it did not take long to show up. I start crying and immediately thank God. I do not move for a long time. I just sit on the toilet crying. I finally get up and go to Sarah's room. I pick up the book I wrote for her and read it to my new little one growing in my tummy. I cry most of the rest of the afternoon and keep looking at the test waiting for the word "NOT" to pop up in front of the "PREGNANT." It never did show up. I am a ball of emotions. I am both excited and scared. I want this little one to be healthy and happy and to be able to bring him/her home with me in 9 months.

Week 35

Week 35
Me and my Joanna