Friday, June 20, 2008

BFP (Big Fat Positive)

Sitting at home alone, I am thinking about my dear angel Sarah and about wanting to give her a baby brother or sister so badly. I stand up and feel what I know from my first pregnancy is a ligament stretching cramp. I go to the bathroom to get my pregnancy test kit and read over the directions for the hundredth time. I am planning on testing in the morning, so I want to be ready. As I read the directions, I realize I am at 13 dpo (days past ovulation) and the box says it is only 4% more accurate if I want until the next morning. I know I am not using FMU (first morning urine) and that might make the test more off but I have five tests so I test.

I sit on the toilet, just lost in thought. I see the working hour glass blinking and let my mind wonder to my Sarah as it does most of the time. I look down at the test sitting on the edge of the shower and start to cry. It says, "PREGNANT," all in caps and it did not take long to show up. I start crying and immediately thank God. I do not move for a long time. I just sit on the toilet crying. I finally get up and go to Sarah's room. I pick up the book I wrote for her and read it to my new little one growing in my tummy. I cry most of the rest of the afternoon and keep looking at the test waiting for the word "NOT" to pop up in front of the "PREGNANT." It never did show up. I am a ball of emotions. I am both excited and scared. I want this little one to be healthy and happy and to be able to bring him/her home with me in 9 months.

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Week 35

Week 35
Me and my Joanna